I'm real.

Jamie sat across from me at the poker table. She immediately caught my eye, and saw that I was noticing more than everyone else at the table. She was probably 38. I was 22. I caught on that she sat down with her friend Dusty, who was this scrawny white guy that was missing a couple side teeth on his upper maxilla. His scruffy face and faded t-shirt told me he wasn't playing Hold 'Em with his excess cash, it was most likely his paycheck (it was Friday).

Her eye-liner was just a bit too dark for her age -- she had to be still single. She bantered with Dusty about the Flyers and how they traded this player to the Ducks, and that player to Montreal. I shoved pocket sevens on a 8-8-6 flop and thought I was good. She showed me queens, but of course I spiked a 7 on the river. Now our relationship mattered.

"How could you do this to a poor girl like me?" she inquired of me in a manner that did not inspire any sort of sympathy in me -- she likely knew how to play poker better than most of the guys on this table. I stammer out some sort of apology, despite being 20 red chips richer. "You're not sorry" she points out. I wasn't. "I'm Jamie".

Three shots and a couple stacks later, I'm suddenly the "MIT kid" despite at least 3 Asian dudes who are my age sitting at the table. Dusty and I began laughing together about some of the craziness at the table -- what can I say I was running hot as the sun. Jamie openly calls me "so cute" at the table, and told me that she too went to PENN for grad school. I ask her if she graduated, to which Dusty said "you had it until that, buddy". She reacts quickly - "Did 'I' graduate? What do you think?" Obviously I thought she didn't judging by my previous conception of her.

The funniest part -- I think she never did graduate from grad school there. She never answered the question. She volunteered how I was the most attractive player at the table after her last shot, to which I saw the opportunity to leave. Dusty contends "She likes the young guys", and I postulated that maybe it was a good time to exit the situation before I either deflate her ego or subject myself to an awkward situation. She got stacked again, and I gave her a side hug and shook the hands of the dudes who had given me several hundred dollars. Her hands slipped inside of my shirt for just a second, and she wiggled her fingers. I told her "I'd be around", and left as fast as I could.

The reality of these people was fortunate for my current predicament of feeling dreary and dull towards social interaction in general. I lost my social core, it was raped and pillaged by graduation. Thank God for real people who have real desires and emotions. They continue to teach me what it means to be human.

I'm back.

Greetings from North Dakota

It's good to be home. I'm listening to synthpop, chilling downstairs in my dad's office, just enjoying life. It was great to go out to Dempsey's and see Becca K., Than, Austin, and some kids from high school that I haven't seen or talked to for a very long time.

I just had a great idea. I think I'm going to start posting things publicly that are more essay-ish, and write personal posts like this privately or not shared. Good. That is a good idea.

Jordan

I'm Gone.

Good evening (morning) world,

I'm gone (can't remember if it's starcraft Ghosts or Red Alert 2 liquidifier dudes).

I recently got a job in finance in NYC! I am very very pumped! God is good, for certain. I have been searching for a job for 9 months, which isn't even that long if you think about it. The work and prayers have been answered with a pretty cool internship up in the City.

In other news, I'm in one of the most stable and secure spots of my life right now, and it's showing. I definitely have a lot more searching to do and figuring out my beliefs and otherwise, but at the same time I am very excited to have the experiences I have had, and to have the opportunity that I am going to have coming forward.

I don't really feel like writing much here, but here's a short list of things I am doing:

1. Writing emails to all the people in my life that have affected me greatly in college
2. Searching for a place to live in NYC
3. Checking out new music daily
4. Playing poker
5. Hanging out with tons of rad people in Philly all the time
6. Not reading, but I will be soon
7. Loving life, calling my friends often
8. Eating dominoes
9. Not getting fat
10. Making lists and getting them done (so I really am type A. Sue me)

I am Accomplishment

Hello.

Today I:

Applied for 15 jobs
Gave away 3 boxes of clothing
Made two separate trips to the bank to deposit money
Cleaned my room/excommunicated things that were not mine

and I'm about to go do some work

Yay productivity!